A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean, but just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her. “You have so much to live for,” said the man. “I’m a sailor, and we are off to […]
Jeff had been in business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months or so […]
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream ‘prejudice’ these days……………. A customer asked, “In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?” The clerk asks, “Are you Polish?” The guy , clearly offended, says, “Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would […]
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door […]
A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. “I think it’s raining,” he said to his wife. “No, that felt more like snow to me,” she replied. “No, I’m sure it was just rain” he said. Well, as these things go, they […]
The awesome power of a wife’s love A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death’s doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out […]
Over the years, there has been much research and speculation why the Mayans stopped working on the calendar. The true secret for this has finally been discovered!
Below is the Mayan Calendar weather forecast for the week of December 16 2012 – December 22 2012 For those of you who live in the Midwest of the United States, this is pretty typical weather: Cold one day and then hotter than hell the next!
Maggie, a blonde city girl, marries a New Zealand dairy farmer. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, farmer John says to Maggie, ‘The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the rail above the cow’s stall in the barn. You show him […]