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The Parrot
totallaughriot.com

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said 50.00. “Why so little?” she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, “Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house […]

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Physician Diet Recommendation
totallaughriot.com

Color Is Good Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high. My cholesterol was high. I’d gained some weight, and I didn’t feel so hot. My doctor said eating right doesn’t have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. He said: Just think in colors. […]

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Two Old Ladies
totallaughriot.com

Two ladies are sitting outside at their retirement home, smoking’ cigarettes and enjoying the sunny day when it begins to rain. One of the ladies reaches into her purse and pulls out a condom and a pair of scissors. As the other lady watches, she then proceeds to pull out the rubber, snips the tip […]

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Church Squirrels
totallaughriot.com

CHURCH SQUIRRELS There were five houses of religion in a small-town: The Presbyterian Church, The Baptist Church , The Methodist Church , The Catholic Church and The Jewish Synagogue. Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels. One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After […]

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Beer, Fishing, and Golf
totallaughriot.com

There is a VERY important lesson here… A business man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will […]

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The Dot Explained
totallaughriot.com

The Truth About the Dot I am probably going to Hell for posting this. Hey, I don’t write the jokes, I just report them! The Dot FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP. For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or […]

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Ole’s Nooner
totallaughriot.com

The Nooner A young North Dakota farm couple, Ole and Lena, got married and just  couldn’t seem to get enough lovin’. In the morning, before Ole left the house for the fields, they made love. When Ole came back from the fields,  they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love. The problem was […]

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The Deaf Wife Problem
totallaughriot.com

Bert feared his wife Peg wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the […]

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Word Puzzle, 5 Classic Comedians
totallaughriot.com

The word puzzle contains the last names of some great comedians.     Answers are in the comments.      

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